This is where it gets tricky with Cecily. If I get the job, I will probably terminate seeing Cecily and transfer the practice of the skills to Andy and Dr M. I spoke to Andy before and he said he is happy for us to sit down and look at the skills and for him to remind me and prompt me when I am feel distress, of what I should do. Then I would transfer the management of DBT to my psychiatrist - Dr M - as he is pretty clued in on how it all works. He was the one that first suggested DBT before I did it about 4 years ago.
The trick is what to do if I don't get the job. Part of all my stress since October last year has been about work. So if I don't get the job, I know I will be quite upset and I will need extra support from Cecily. I will have to try and figure out what to do about myself and work but I could very well get depressed again. This would suck, but I guess all things are for a reason. I think the balance is probably, as I see it, 60% I feel I will get the job and 40% I feel I won't. I just don't know for sure and I do get along with everyone, but every interview I have ever gone to at this uni for a permanent job, I haven't gotten. I have been told that I have done very well in the interview but the other person has a higher level of skills. In this case the job I am going for is in my specialty. I might still not get it, but I think I have a stronger chance. The other thing in my favour is that 3 other staff members got jobs there in my office currently got their jobs by being a temporary there first. But of course, there is always a chance I won't get it and there is no point weighing up the chance of getting it or not. I have to get an interview first.
So that is my plan. If I get the job, I would see Cecily until we had tied up all the loose ends and if I don't get the job, I will see her until I know what I am moving on to and see where that is and how I will still see her. I just want to have a break for now. I just want to spend my lunchtime chilling out and relaxing reading a book. Keep your fingers and toes cross for me!
looking for that spot of colour instead of the black and white