I realised this after waking up with mild chest pain yesterday that I just don't want to die. I've never had that so prominent before, so huge and glaring at me. It made me think of the pain others would go though and it made me realise that I will never over take seroquel again. I am Since Thursdaay I have had two tablets.
One Friday when I was really stressed out and last night when some rude person outside was whistling to their friend from on the ground of the apartment building I live in at 12am, I woke up and ended up staying up for an hour be when I tried to go back to sleep I just couldn't turn my mind off of getting my cat on Thursday.
So now I am using relaxation music to sleep and now also I am not letting myself sleep during the day. I had a great music session with Dov last night with his piano and my clarinet. It was awesome. My technique has flown along.
But anyway back to not dying. I lay there in hospital terrified that I had done some heart damage with my use of seroquel. In the end it turned out to be anxiety, I was so happy. I came home not only with good news for Dov but my revelation and he was just so thankful. I can't believe that in two and half weeks we'll have been together for a year. Awesomeness.