Monday, March 30, 2015

A video post from me

I decided yesterday that I was going to do a sound recording for you then when I tried to upload it, it didn't work because of its format. So then I had a brainwave (surprising I know, lol) to put it to a slideshow of photos (all of Cali, so I'm sorry if you don't like cats). It was a lot easier to make a little video for you with my message to you. Sorry it's late, I was writing an assignment due yesterday. I'll try and upload this now.

video

I hope this worked, I guess I'll soon see in a moment. Have a great day :)

Sarah xx

Monday, March 23, 2015

Hello!

It's been a while. I am doing okay but had some stuff to deal with after the death of my grandmother. It was a pretty dark time and I am not going to really go into it here but I will say that I am sure she wouldn't have like to see the state I ended up in. My mother and I had an enormous fight, which also wasn't very nice. Then Dov and I broke up and got back together about six times, I kid you not. It was heartbreaking over and over again and I still don't think we out of the woods. I'd be surprised if we lasted a month.

Cali has also been out of sorts. I realised, to my horror, that I haven't been showing her so much attention lately as I have been distracted. So she got her own back, she kept on waking me up at 2am and I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. It was very frustrating. In the end I played cat soccer, very complicate game I might add, with her a few times a day and also talked to her, smooched and made her feel special. Last night she left me alone and is now fast asleep on top of the couch.

Here she is looking adorable of course

I have been trying to do more photography, but I have sort of made myself housebound. I hate going out now, even though I have to sometimes for psych or medical appointments. I have to get groceries too, but that's it really. I'm really broke too 

I do have a sore back today from sitting at the computer doing a uni essay, so I am going to go rest it. I hope you are all well, please take care and I will chat again soon. Sorry it took so long from last time.

Sarah xx

Monday, March 9, 2015

Falling apart from falling apart - Trigger alert

Well I did get discharged from DBT because my doc wouldn't let me go home and I knew I wasn't ready. Now I have nothing on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the time I really need it. Dov and I broke up and Saturday and so I took another OD. At this rate I'm never going to be medically cleared for DBT. I am okay. Dov and I got back together, then broke up and then got back together. I don't know what the hell is happening. I think I need some more time away from him so I can find myself again. I am totally lost. I nearly OD'd again yesterday and then had horrible visions of jumping. I'm sorry if this triggering anyone. I think my Nana dying has set this all off. How do you deal with death? I am obviously not coping with it well. My mum and I were also not talking except we finally talked after two weeks of no contact yesterday. Was very emotional. I know I am really unwell. I just don't know what to do about it.

Sarah xx