Monday, October 31, 2016

Well hello there

Hi Guys

I thought I'd just do a check and let you all know how things are going, which is pretty good actually. I'm not doing a whole heap, just preparing for things. Our campaign went live on Friday officially, although it was sort of running last week anyway. We already have some "backers" too which is really great. Since the middle of last week, we have so far raised $680, which is great! In any case, I'll let you now how it is going. Here's the link if you want to check it out https://gatherchange.com/projects/thebusinessofhope/.

I finished my coaching with Tim last week, which was a real bummer because I was really loving the coaching, he is very good at it and I liked working with him. I feel like many hurdles were jumped over. The only problem is that the work we did really did work, though it seems to fade a little about half a week after our meeting and then it would come back again when I met up with him. I'm worried because what if it keeps fading? I'm doing whatever I can but my own doubts about myself creep in when we are not actively working on it in some way. I don't want to fade away.That makes no sense probably because it's not in an eating disorder way, it's hard to explain. I know what I mean in my head but I can't explain that for you.

I had an awesome experience the other night last week. I went to this meeting, which I expected to be a business meeting and it turned out to something entirely different. It was to explain about an event that is happening in February, a choaching weekend and it helps you unblock all the things that are blocked within you. The guy that took me and another tenant here didn't tell us what we were going to really and then it kind of got sprung on me. It turned out to be an amazing night and I left feeling really inspired. My coaching weekend is 3, 4, 5 of February and a night on the 7th. I'm so excited about it. Now I just need to get the money together for it. I'll get it done, I have no doubt.

This week I start a six week course with Kirsty Spraggon, the lady that does Kirsty TV. She is doing a six week online course called "Shameless". I paid for it ages ago and have since done a lot of work on myself, so my shame factor has lessened somewhat but I will still do the course. It sounds hard but creative at the same time, which is perfect for me. I'll let you know how that goes too.

Other than that, I am just making cards for people for Christmas for their families. I had an order of 20, which was hard to do but I enjoyed it mostly. I have another two orders of other cards, one lot of Christmas, one lot of mixed (I think) I don't even know if the second lot will take off because... oh, it's complicated

Okay, I'm off to do something Sarah-like and I will chat soon. So... be safe and all that :)

Sarah xx

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Crowdfunding campaign - Gather Change - The Business of Hope

Hi Guys

Here's the link to the crowdfunding campaign https://gatherchange.com/projects/thebusinessofhope/. The prizes links aren't up yet but will be on Friday :)

Be safe and all that!

Sarah xx

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

The videos for the campaign are released

Hi Everyone, 
A while ago now I told you about a campaign that I was going to be a part of that was in relation to homelessness. Well... it has taken a fair bit longer than we thought because there was much more that needed doing and more time needed than was first thought.
Anyway, I'm anxious about these videos because it's kind of exposing to me and shows a journey that I have felt shameful for, for a long time, so much so that I didn't even tell my parents or brothers. I think they were all shocked when I mentioned it in that first post on facebook. There was no one who was at fault here, it just is one of those things that sometimes happens.
These are the launch videos for our crowdfunding campaign but Deb says it better than me, so here she is. Gosh this is hard.


Deb Jones our mentor and coach


Me


Sussana


Gleem

Just so you all know, know that although the site is live - it's still having our rewards added and hasn't officially been launched - it's a sneak peek and an opportunity to get in quick as one of our Epic Pre-Launch Donors!!

Be safe and all that :)
Sarah xx




:-/

Monday, October 24, 2016

I feel good today

Hi Guys

Today is a good day. I feel great and happy and just well, you know, content with where I am at right now. The campaign of ours is taking forever to go live. I have no idea when it will but the videos for it are on youtube already. I am just not sure if I am allowed to share yet or if I have to wait until it's official. One thing I am really struggling with is my zine. So much for it being out by the end of October, that just hasn't happened because I am feeling quite stuck with it. Since Dov and I broke up, we are still really good friends, I have just lost a bit of motivation. I'm not sure why. It could be the withdrawing off of the Abilify and I am getting my period, oh JOY! So double whammy all at once.

Today is good, yesterday was not. I was grumpy and pissed off with the world and just generally ugh! So I am happy that today is a good day. I woke up last night having nightmares about a clash between common ground and another organisation that I will not name because I don't want to upset myself but in the dream I was trying to shut this huge iron door and I couldn't and whatever it was was coming and I couldn't stop it and then I woke up and it was midnight. I woke up a number of times to Cali scratching on the blanket, so I must have been talking and making sounds in my sleep that disturbed her. She is such a good watch cat, lol. She is!

Okay, so I have to go in a moment to my business meeting this morning. I am a bit iffy about it because I think Deb is away and I'm going to miss her if she is and the media is meant to be coming today. I don't know how I feel about that. Sigh!

Be well!

Sarah xx

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Finding the inner goddess

Hi Guys

Well, coaching with Tim the other day was amazing. I really tapped into some powerful stuff in a safe space and I can't believe the difference I feel within myself. Yesterday I walked down the street and I felt that old foe fear and I went, you know what, if you hold your head up and you look people in the eye and smile, people will only see you shine. If they can't handle that, really it's none of your business, that's up to them but when you think that, I am saying in a kind and gentle way. No judgments here. I found my tree of life pendant and my triple goddess pendant too and now I can actively seek and be at one with the energy around me. It makes me feel so strong and powerful and gentle and humble all at the same time. I am me and I am the best me I can be and that's awesome. It's where I want to be.

My coaching training is going well, though I have gotten stuck on one part of the model I am doing at the moment. I need to call my mentor and ask her if she can help me out because it wasn't clear in that part of the webinar of what they meant by it. I think I have an idea but hey, I guess I'll soon find out. I am up to the GROW model and the 'O' stands for options. For the self-coaching part I am up to, I am looking at my finances, yay, don't we all love that, but seriously, I want to get a handle on it and I will. I will understand it when it's time to understand it, though I can help myself by seeking help, which I will do today.

In withdrawal news, doing okay today, though have a lovely headache. My vision is blurry and my glasses aren't really working. So I think that's why my head is sore, mainly my eyes. No emotional stuff, just letting myself be in the moment. When I'm making cards, I'm making cards, or I end up gluing the wrong bits to the wrong bits... yes, I've done that already once today when I let my mind wander. Luckily I saved it. Here are some of my cards I made for the lovely Sonya. I have another 11 to go and they are unconventional xmas cards.
















The other awesome thing was getting my hair done... sorry to all the guys out there, but yes, girl talk for two minutes. Emily did my hair Sunday or Monday night, can't remember which :-/  I love it and it's lighter than it was before but I like that about it too. When I was little I had really dark brown skin and white blond hair because I was always at the beach or swimming at home in our pool. Anyways, here are the results... love it and love to Em for doing such an amazing job oh and happy birthday too for the other day!







Now that I've crapped on for ages about heaps of different things, I am going to go and do something, though I don't know what... maybe some Vampire Diaries, lol... do I hear some groans there?

As always, be safe my friends

Sarah xx

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Withdrawals and campaign progress

Hi Guys

Not feeling too great today. I'm withdrawing from a dose of Abilify and ugh, headaches and a rollercoaster of emotional crap is how I'm feeling. This has happened in the past with the Abilify, whether I am going up a dose or going down a dose. This time, I am going from 30mg to 20mg and I am doing well considering. My doc also wanted to change my lithium and Seroquel at them same time but I have decided not to, my poor brain can only handle one at a time. I think that's sensible at least. No wonder I cried all morning yesterday and then had the sorest eyes all day. It was pretty awful and a real shocker of a day. I know we all get those though, don't we?

In other news, our campaign is on the verge of being released. The video I am in I must admit to not feeling too happy about how I look. Yes, there's that whole thing again. I am trying to not feel like that but it's a habit I've had for years and years and it doesn't just go away overnight. It's hard sometimes being different to others and it's hard to put yourself out there, just like it's hard to ask for help. I know though that I do want to live without that fear and shame and do it fiercely. Anyway, I am going to leave it there for today and go and have a cup of tea. I need to relax and gear myself up for coaching today :)

Be safe

Sarah xx

Friday, October 14, 2016

We broke up

But I'm good. We will remain really good friends, just no more than that and that is okay :)

Coaching yesterday

Hi Guys

Yesterday I had a one on one coaching session with Tim and it was amazing. To start with I had to confront some things, mainly how I perceive myself and yes it made me cry. Tim was awesome in helping me through this and I am so grateful. I even went up to a lady and asked if she was okay, I didn't know her, embarrassment, lol. She had newspaper on her tyres, which was really weird and Tim wanted me to ask her about why it was there, or even just anything, just to get me from grabbing hold of the table for dear life, ha ha. I wasn't going to let go but in the end I did and it was really really really REALLY hard. I wanted to hide and cry but Tim was gentle in the way he did it and then when I did finally get up and go to her, when I turned around, he was jumping up and down happily. I was still a bit embarrassed though.

Then while we were standing there, it was time to yell out to the trees (and the world) "I am loveable", I said no no no no no no, how embarrassement. I did it really softly and he yelled it himself and I got embarrssed, ha ha, I do that so easily. I did it though and there was another one I can't remember. All in all it was pretty damn awesome. Tim is really amazing. I'm so happy that I went to that first workshop of his because otherwise I would never have found coaching for myself, or known that I would want to do it as a career. Better late than never. So I'm thanking the universe right now.

Sarah xx

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

OMG Wow... I got in

Hi Guys

Life has been a bit of a rollercoaster over the last few days/week. I have been trying to get into a life coaching institute to do my course and I kept getting blocked at every turn in some big or small way. Today that changed. I got a call from the Life Coaching College and I got in, I'm all signed up and got a payment plan with them. I'm so incredibly excited right now and had to share my news. It's also a great omen that it is my 1300 post, yay. Thanks for all your support.

Sarah xx

Was and now not?

Hi Guys

I don't think I am meant to go to Estrada where I was going to do my life coach training. The program they do is usually covered by a deferred payment scheme and they need my high school certificate and I've lost it and it was 25 years ago (yes, I am old my friends)! I don't ever lose things and then I pulled a card of out my deck it was the stamina card, which is always a very "no" card to me. I know that sounds weird but I've been reading for a really long time and I know my cards inside out and back to front and I know when something's not meant to happen. In all honesty, I have been feeling like that for a bit now. I just didn't want to see it. I knew when I got the first email from this dude, Stuart, from Estrada that there was just a feeling I guess and I always listen to my gut.

Universe, I'm listening, you don't have to yell ;)

I think it's launch day today. I hope, but I don't know for sure. I don't know. I guess we'll see what happens. It's also business meeting day today. It used to be fabulous but I am nervous from last week. We had two extra people that crashed it and then proceeded to talk all over everyone. It threw our lovely little group on its head and we are still recovering. I hope this is not a repeat. 

Have a good one

Sarah xx

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Leaving here

Hi Guys

I have felt for a long time now but more so recently, that I will be leaving Brisbane Common Ground sometime very soon. I feel I will be out of here in the next six months and be living in my own house, with Cali. I feel it so strongly that I want to start packing. It's that strong. Funny thing is it's not freaking me out. I'm excited about it. I am sick of having my kitchen in my bedroom (I have a studio apartment). I want my own bedroom. You know when you know it's time to do something and you kinda just have to roll with punches, well, I am.

With my business stuff, I feel like I am going nowhere. Everyone is saying I'm am but I can't see it. Maybe it's because we are all doing so much with Deb right now that I feel like I am not doing it when I am. The campaign itself is driving me nuts. It's being officially launched tomorrow. It seems to he dragging it's heels a bit and my speech will actually be done within the period of the campaign rather than after it, which I think is really good.

Emotionally I am good. I am holding up. I feel great really. I do have some underlying anxiety about an issue that I can't talk about because no one knows about it and I don't want to flag it. It's not a bad thing, rather something good, though I may be misunderstanding some things about it. I want to be more clear about it before I bring it up here. So don't worry, it's just a thing shall we call it, lol.

I have been so well over the last little while and even with the stressors I am not cracking and I now know I can cope on my own. I am doing everything I can to get through without taking a valium and I've been doing it. I got through yesterday, huge anxiety, everyone was telling to take a tablet, I said no and I didn't and it was fine. I am going to do this on the day of my speech too (I really hope), I don't want to take a valium and taking propranolol makes me anxious would ou believe?), I want Deb, my team and Tim to see me talk without drugs in my system, even if it is hard. I don't want to do it because I think it would feel like I had let myself down too. I know one tablet is one tablet but one tablet can turn into many. If you know what I mean.

Okay, off to start the day. I hope your day/night is as good as mine will be. I think you're all awesome :)

Sarah xx

Monday, October 10, 2016

The Limiting Round Rock

Hi Guys

Feeling a little quiet today (yes I know, very strange) and I wrote this really weird poem.

---

The Limiting Round Rock

The earth is moving
beneath the craziness of
my itchy, squishy feet.
The sole touches the
crumbling sadness and
the round rock can’t help
but weep within the confines
of its existence.

My toes reach forward
and stretch back and forth.
“What am I missing?” I thought.
My mind speaks of things
I do not want to hear.
I am not ready, my toes
have not yet landed in the dirt
of that mighty round rock.

My foot slides forward
and I plant my whole foot
into the softness of the
limiting grass. It’s not infinite
anymore. The lesson learned,
has been learned well and
giving away to you of me,
is no longer an option.

You have no power over me.

---

Have a groovy day :)

Sarah xx

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Trying to keep up - huge post

Hi Guys

Wow, what a few days it's been. I feel like someone has come up and turned me upside down and shaken me and then turned me around the right way but my hair is still sticking up. My life is changing at a rate I can barely keep up with. So... where to start, there is so much. I got into a life coaching program here in Brisbane and I start on 5 December. I got to choose when I would start and I decided I would then so that some of the craziness might settle down.

You have been waiting long enough to hear what is actually happening and it's still happening but I am going to say it anyway. We are doing a crowdfunding campaign (different to the one I am going to do for my book but my book could be part of my journey) to keep Hope Ventures going. Hope Ventures is a group that works through Brisbane Common Gound and it supports people that have been homeless/displaced and some low-income, mostly the former. I found out about BCG when Andy and I broke up and I didn't really have a place to go to. I lived in hospital for a few weeks but then went to that boarding house where my door didn't really lock very well. Plus I had some scary characters living there AND they didn't lock the place up at night. Eekkkk. So that is how I ended up here and it's now been 4 years since I was moved here.

Hope Ventures was created when Deb lost her funding for here. She is the training and employment person and she is AMAZING! I really love Deb. She is awesome and a lot of fun to be with, also very caring. We had all started creating our own businesses and there are about 10 of us now. We have all done or are doing a course in Micro business with Wes, who is also AMAZING. Some of us want to do it. I am in the process of completing mine. Just one more bit of it, I think. Then when we had our own businesses, Deb started to really make things happen and so have we. We all work together, giving each other ideas on how to get our businesses going.

So giving you and idea of who we are, there is me (hello!) Sussana - makes soy candles with essential oils; Ronnie -- interior design; Gleem -- makes hand designed t-shirts; Emily -- is a mobile hairdresser; Cheryl -- is making a cookbook from her home country and Nilima -- yoga and healing. Deb really wants us to realise our business and make our dreams happen.

As for me, I have five different threads I am following. So here goes:
1) Scrapbooking for elderly people that want to tell their story with photographs and journaling. I would like to take this to nursing homes or even retirement villages too.
2) Card making (this is more a hobby thing) but I do sell my cards to my friends. I also wouldn't mind running workshops on card making too
3)Photography working with Emily, she would do hair and make up and I would take the photos
4)Motivational speaking, I would love to do this and I do have my first talk on 3 November to about 100 (holy crap). Oh, got butterflies saying that, lol.
5) Then when it happens there is life coaching

So this is what has been brewing over the last few weeks or more actually more. The last one new. Tim was the one that has given me the courage to work out what I want and I haven't' really even started with him yet, lol. I sold one of my camera lenses last night because I thought I was going to need to go to Melbourne in a few weeks and now I don't, PLUS BCG stuffed up my electricity rebate and it was half of what it should of been. So now I can do all the things I want to do because, one, I've figured it out and two, I have the cash.

A huge thanks to Deb and all the guys I work with in Hope Ventures and thanks to Tim for the ideas and help with knowing where to go.

Let's hope when the campaign goes live and it will, we were waiting on a music license for the video and yesterday were still in production because of that. Will keep you guys posted.

Okay, I'll leave your eyes to rest.

Sarah xx

EDIT -- oh yeah and the zines/book, forgot about that

Thursday, October 6, 2016

When you don't want to say...

Hi Everyone

I'm feeling a little lost for words today and geez, who woulda thought. There's something on the tip of my tongue and I want to voice it but I can't. I feel a little stuck. I think I know what the problem is but I don't want to say. It's scary sometimes how things can change in a week, a day, an hour or even minute. Things you think are going to happen are dashed on the shores of regret and fear and loneliness. Things you think will fall flat will soar and lift you up. I don't want to say the words because I don't want to give them credence. I don't want them to live on my breath and make me fail. I want to rise up and soar and live an amazing life. I know I can do it, so I must leave the other stuff behind and move forward and accept those things that I cannot change.

Sarah xx

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Business news -- website, zines, a bit of my main idea

Hi Guys

I thought I'd post this after my TMI (again) post because it doesn't really go with business news and whatnot, lol. Funny that. So right now I am building a website. I think it's looking pretty good so far actually. I am still writing it, so I want to wait until it's live before I post the link. I'm going to be doing a marketing ad for my business, I'm just waiting to get funds together to do it. It's a great little video that I can get done for me to use on social media and on my website.

Well,the zines have stalled a bit. I'm not sure what the problem is but I have gotten stuck on the middle pages. So far I have laid out 32 pages and I'm caught. I am going to try and do some more soon but I don't know, I think I do know what the issue is but it's something I can't talk about right now. Maybe in a little bit when I'm feeling I can. We'll see. A girl's got to have some secrets though you know ;)

So, my main idea I thought I'd tell you about, though I will keep the how part of it to myself for now. What I want to do is to encourage and help elderly people in nursing homes to create their own scrapbook albums. I want to travel around to them and show them how I've done mine and some easy ways that they can do theirs too. It'd be great if I can also go to retirement villages and do the same thing because there are so many people out there that don't have family or don't have family close and I'd like to jump in and say that it'd be great idea to do their story for their family or do their families story.

For me, it's about the storytelling, the journaling and the photos and photography. I'm a photographer after all and I've got a Masters in Journalism and I got part way through a degree in professional writing and publishing before I  turned to this business stuff, which I love. So yeah, I'd love to do that. I lost my Nana in 2014 and I couldn't be with her because she was in the UK but she was an amazing woman and I loved her so much. I was her favourite too. When she passed away mum and my aunt went through her stuff and she had pictures of me everywhere. Mum told me that, "she loved you over and above her own children". It makes me sad and happy to hear that. Happy because it makes my heart sing and sad because I miss her so much and still go to call her and then have to stop.

The other thing is is that I felt like I abandoned her a bit before she died. I hadn't contacted her for a while and then she got sick and it can happen so easily. I think helping other Nana's and Grandpa's out there or even a lovely person that have no children but have had a life they'd like to remember. I'd love to go on that journey with them. It would be an honour.

Have a great day :)

Sarah xx

TMI (again) and must read for the ladies

Hi Guys

Look at you go, 103,005 pages views this morning, you're rockin' it! Thank you. So, I'll just get straight to the shock. Well, yesterday afternoon I went to the doctor about my bladder issue and she asked me a lot of questions and then decided to have a look for herself. I'm laying there and she's like "have you had a pap smear lately" and I say "not sure", she gets that horrible little contraption out they use on you when they do have one and she inserts it and has another look and then says "there's a tampon in there", I went, "WHAT!" and "OMFG" and "I can't believe that. I'm so careful". I was horrified and then she had to get forceps to get it out and still had trouble. So it seems that that was my bladder problem, I think. Still testing the waters, lol, no pun intended.

I still can't believe that that happened. I am so careful and I remember that night in shower, I thought I had left one there but I checked and I couldn't feel it. Thing is, I could have died because of that. I was very lucky. I could easily have gotten toxic shock syndrome (TSS) and not known why I was sick, see the link if you're not sure what it is. You shouldn't leave a tampon in for a long period of time and you want to know how long mine was in there and this is shocking -- two weeks -- yes, it took me a while to figure it out but two weeks. I am so so so lucky. I am so scared about this now it has totally turned me off using tampons. I am so scared of one getting stuck or me forgetting again that for now, I can't use them. It's just the way it is. Give my body a break from them for a while. For my own peace of mind at least, I am definitely going to do that.

Have a groovy day :)

Sarah xx


Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Business ideas

Hi Guys

I've strung you along for a while now and I'm starting to feel really bad about that. So, sorry and I am going to tell you a few of the things I am going to be doing. I won't tell you the main one but I can tell you the others that will be happening very soon.

1. Photographer for other businesses that have started up. For example, I am going to be bartering my photographer time with others. One of my fellow colleagues is making a cookbook and she needs her recipes photographed, so I will do her photographs and she is going to help me with my admin stuff because she is very good at it and I am not :-/   Another one of my colleagues is a hairdresser and she would like some photographs of her hairdressing before and after for a portfolio. She is also my hairdresser, so we can come to an agreement there.

2. Card making. Wel you have seen my photos of some of my cards and I will just keep going with them. I have a fair few to do by order for Christmas and other occasions too. I am also selling cards at a gym that is affiliated with the Common Ground.

3. Book publishing. I am going to be getting all my zines and some stuff on here published into a book. I have a company that self-publishes to order and I can sell on Etsy or other little places. I'm doing a crowdfunding campaign for this through Kickstarter.

So that's a few things that I'm doing. I will leave the main thing for Friday when our campaign goes live. I'm so excited :)

Sarah xx

Monday, October 3, 2016

TMI I know but please read

Hi Guys

Wow, what a topsy turvy day. It's been upsetting and I've had to come to terms with some physical damage I've done to myself accidentally late last week and no there is no self-harm of any kind. I was going to write in here that I am not yet comfortable sharing with you guys about the problem I am having but I think it needs to be said, although embarrassing and there is a strong element of TMI.

The reason I want to share this with you is because many of us that have suffered from eating disorders and suffer from low nutrition or those on medication -- both can cause constipation. I am on a lot of medication and I also at times still after all these years suffer from low nutrition, usually out of laziness. I have been told for years and years not to push while in the bathroom but I didn't listen and I did it anyway, for years because I was constipated.

This is hard for me to say but you guys need to hear what can happen when you do this, you can weaken your bladder like I did. So now when I laugh or cough or move too fast or go too far, I don't need to tell you what can happen. I don't know what I am going to do until I see my doctor tomorrow. It frightens me to think of what I need to do to fix it, whether it just be exercises to restrengthen the muscles. My mum is a nurse and she had something happen to her around my age and she was able to strengthen using exercises but I don't know how bad it is. I don't want to go out anywhere. It scares me. I can't go on the bus.

So please, please don't do what I did. I can't tell you how many times I was told not to do that and I didn't listen. I didn't think anything would happen to me and it did and now I am grounded. It could happen after doing it once or after a hundred times like it was in my case. I have lost count how long I was doing that for. It's frightening what we can do to ourselves and then when it's done, it can't be undone. I wish I could turn the clock back a week. I wish I could talk to myself right then at that very moment. If I had, I might've prevented this but I might not have. A lot of the time we can be our own worst enemies, so before you hurt yourself, remind yourself what I have said here today, what can happen and please don't let it happen to you.

Be kind to yourself

Sarah xx

Good news for my business

Hi Everyone

I have found something exciting that I can use for my business and I think it will actually work. I am ordering one of them tomorrow to see if it works and if it does I am going to go with that. It means re-doing the 'thing' I am going to be working on in my business but I guess that's what it's all about -- redoing, redefining. I'm up for that.

Now I just really need to learn how to (a) completely use my camera proper (I have a way to do that in the next fortnight) and (b) how to use photoshop and lightroom properly. The latter I can also do a course in but I don't know if they are really expensive. To be business ready I also need supplies and that means for my first workshop (now there's a hint, ha ha), I will need to have these supplies all ready to go. That means my workshops will have to be prepaid so I can purchase the product prior without being out of pocket and then having one or two people not turn up. I'm learning quickly with all this stuff.

So the zines to a book are completely separate to this and it really is a side thing rather than the main thing. The main thing will be what brings the money for the business in and then it will be the three other side things that will give me the variety. BUT there is one other thing that I can say that I want to do and it to talk to people, tell them my story and tell them they can do anything they want to do, they just need to take a step up and be their own truth.

I have my first talk on 3 November to about 100 people and I think it's just basically my story they want to hear. So one month today, eek. Yes, it scares me but it makes me excited too. Remind me of that when I am standing up waiting to go up in front of everyone, I might not be feeling so brave then but then NO... I won't say that. I will say I CAN do it and I WILL do it. I just have to practice, practice, practice. Like I said, anyone can do anything if they really want to.

If you'd asked me 6 months ago that I'd be here right now, I would have said no. I would have laughed in your face and said no, you were the crazy one, not me. Yes, you were the crazy one. I've been seeing my new doctor for 6 months now. I haven't had a relapse in longer than that. I don't feel one coming on and I feel strong. Stronger than I have in what feels like forever. The other day I went to a function and I wore business clothes, like I used to when I was working and I felt so good. It felt right again.

I got to such a low point that I was wearing tracksuit pants (sweatpants) in public. I felt so little about myself that I couldn't show the world that I meant something to myself, because I didn't.I felt like the world didn't need or want me. I was wrong. I am okay, I mean, I am better than okay and so are each and every one of you. If you feel bad about yourself, just remember those types of feelings come and go, so don't listen to the inner critic, because you are important too. I want to put duct tape over my inner critic, lol. I will too.

So with this I am going to go and try and do something constructive. In other words, cruise my supplier's site and look at all these wonderful things, lol. Be safe, take care, and have a groovy day/night.

Sarah xx

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Video 3 -- one of my ideas -- sshhh, it's meant to be a secret ;)

Hi Everyone

I think this might have been mentioned last week but here's a more fleshed out idea and what I want to do with it. Let me know what your thoughts are.


Sarah xx

Saturday, October 1, 2016

The Campaign

Hi Guys

I found out this morning that the campaign has been postponed by a week. I wasn't 100% sure about it so I wanted to find out for certain before I told you. I am a bit bummed out about it, I really am, but unfortunately there is nothing that I can do. We've had an issue, of which I don't know, but we have to work through it before we can go live, so I'm sorry for winding you up and then having to tell you that I still can't give you much info. From what I can tell it will happen in a week, so 7 October. I am worried about this because of the nature of the campaign and whether what we need will happen now. I don't know what it means if that happens.

I'm feeling a bit blah and I shouldn't because I just came out of this great workshop with my group. Deb's friend Adrian was awesome for showing us how money works, I'm still a bit confused but I learnt some really good things. Thanks Adrian! I was going to tell you more about it but I left my design book (of all things) in the room and one of my group members kindly grabbed it thankfully. I am going to have a think what I can say. I'm sure I will come up with something ;)

There's still time for the zine comp... send me a comment and the first one to do it will win the zine of their choice... I was going to ask for a creative comment, but since everyone is feeling a little shy, the first comment will win the zine.

Have a groovy day

Sarah xx


I can't get zines out of my head, argh!

Hi Everyone

So yes, as you can see I can't stop thinking about zines. My new one 24 Past the Hour will be out by October 14 but I am sure it will be out by then anyway. It can be pre-ordered here at this link. Or... you could be the first person to get one for free by leaving me a comment in this post. After they get printed, I will post it straight to you. So you will get number 1 of issue 1.

In other zine news, don't forget to leave me a creative reason why you want to get a free copy of any zine already in print. See this post and remember that it's not just a zine of your choice but some handmade Christmas cards too. If you're worried about how you get your details to me, I will put up my email address when I announce the winner tomorrow morning. No one has entered yet so all you have to do is write anything you want really and you'd most likely win. You can do it guys, I treat your personal info with complete privacy, so you are safe if that's what you are worried about. It's all okay and it's okay if you aren't into zines right now too :)

I have some news in relation to the campaign but I have to confirm it first. I will put up a post later on when I am sure of what is happening. So stay tuned as they say. Oh yeah, I have been asked to speak in front of a 100 people and excuse my language but OMFG. 100! That is so many people, it's like 100 of them, lol. I said yes and yes, I am going off my rocker crazy right now. How will I do this? I know I can do it but geez, I'm gonna need a whole box of beta blockers to get through that one, lol.

Okay, off to work on 24. Be safe and all that jazz

Sarah xx