Friday, March 31, 2017

The cyclone and other more useful things

Hi Everyone

Well yesterday was wild and wet. I don't know if any of you knew that Queensland, in Australia, was hit by a cyclone. Luckily the cyclone turned into a big rain storm by the time it hit us but it rained and rained and rained all day and then the winds hit in at about 7pm. It was wild. It has been raining all week and it's finally sunny. Further down the coast in New South Wales is all flooded, oh and other parts below where I am too. It was so humid. Round about 97%, so it was hot and sticky and wet, ugh! It was awful.

I got to have a meeting my lecturer, Kathryn, yesterday by skype and she was awesome. I am doing really well at the moment and she gave me a few key areas that I could improve on while I still have time. We are in week 5 of the semester and I am a little behind in some areas and in perfect time with others.

It always comes down to this. How are my food issues going. Okay, is the short answer but I'm not happy (am I ever) with my weight. I am bigger than I would like but then I am eating stuff I wouldn't normally eat. So I am having to focus on just one thing at a time. Do the washing, I do the washing. Study, I study. One thing in the moment. There are some really great apps that Rob, my psychiatrist gave me that have mindfulness audios on them, they are really great. One that I use is call Buddify2. It does cost a little but it's worth it. The other is The ACT Companion and it goes along with The Happiness Trap written by Dr Russ Harris. Which is well worth it. I did get one from Ellie, my dietitian Smiling Mind, which I also find good. This is what I am trying to focus on.

Rob has me also doing verbal Aikido as it's called. Here are the pics of it.

The idea is that you work out how, whatever you are struggling with, feels in your five senses. It really does make you focus on that one thing and write it down, follow the questions and as Rob says, be like a curious scientist. I hope he doesn't mind me putting this up but it does help me (when I remember to do it) and that's it isn't it, if you don't remember, you can't get in touch with how you are feeling in both you body and your mind.

Rob and I are also working a lot on towards and away moves. The towards are my towards values. That is things like uni, taking care of Cali, being with Dov and my friends. Caring for my family. Hobbies and anything that I see value in. The away are things like, for some of us, not taking care of our bodies when we binge, or restrict or starve. Alienating ourselves from friends and family or anything that pulls you away from the things that you value in life. If you have an Questions, shoot them my way and I'll try and answer them.

These might explain the towards and away moves better.

Anyway, I hope that you find some of this useful. It's what I am working on, among other things, like self compassion. Something I find hard. I'll let you know how it goes. Until then...

Stay safe

Sarah xx

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Look at you go, thank you so much!

Hi Guys

All I can say is thank you. This journey, although sometimes rocky, would not have been possible without the support you have shown. Thank you so much for reading :)

Check this out!!!!!

Have a safe one!

Sarah xx

Monday, March 27, 2017

Quick post, yummy gluten free, almond meal biscuits

Hi Guys

So I did cook and I ate half the batch along with Dov (who ate the other half), though I did have less than him. These turned out really well, though the mix was a little wetter than I am used to. They still came out right.

I have still got enough almond meal for another batch, yeah!!!! Though I will be putting less rosewater in the next lot. I think it was a little much and could have contributed to the wetness of the mix. I can't believe that I have come this far. A year ago, this would have freaked me out. I would have cooked it and thrown it out. Go me!!!!!

Sarah xx

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Still going... plodding along

Hi Guys

I'm getting slack again. I am back at uni, so it's harder to get on here because I'm either studying or avoiding the computer altogether. Today I went to the markets with Phyllis, our chef here at BCG. She is pretty amazing and I love working with her.

Once a month we go to the markets together and she gets donations from different vendors there as produce for us to make stuff to sell. It's a lot of fun and today Dov and I are going to be cooking some biscuits. I have come so far!

Biscuits don't bother me so much these days but I do make half a batch so I don't eat them all, lol. I'm making these glutin free biscuits made with almond meal and no, I'm not gluten free, Dov is. He loves these biscuits. Maybe if I remember I will post up a pic of them afterwards.

Uni is going okay. I'm stressed at the moment because we have two assignments due on thursday. I just wish I could get the motivation to study, hence my little chat to you on here when I should be working. Ha ha! Should be being the word. Oh well, I'll get it done.

I hope you are all going okay, I was thinking about you this morning and I wondered what the status of this blog was, I wondered how the page views were going and I was blown away again when I looked at we've nearly hit 110,00. Not long to go. I feel so happy that my blog has been looked at and read and hopefully my story and honesty, if it helps one person feel no so alone, then I am happy.

I hope you are safe!

Sarah xx

P.S. I'll try and remember to post some pics up later :)

Saturday, March 11, 2017

More uni drama

Hi Everyone

So more uni drama, but drama in a good way. I had a big think about what I wanted to do after I get my grad dip and a friend of mine (thanks Jan) gave me a suggestion. I realised just how many people were doing the library grad dip and it made me think of getting a job afterwards and how easy or hard it would be. Plus when I was reading my textbook, one of the first things it said was "if you're scared of people, don't become a librarian, get out now!", which was kinda dramatic in itself but that was another thing to consider, as I am afraid of people, I get freaked out easy in public.

In information services at my uni, there are two streams, Library Studies and Records Management & Archives. I have worked in records three times and it wasn't too bad. I was happy in the records room with all those files, the great way to hide I say. So... I have put in an application for the Grad Dip in Records Management and Archives. I will let you know how I go with that. The good thing though is I can get credit for the subject I'm doing now because it's part of the program. I'm excited though, there are only a handful of people in my class that want to work in archives and everyone else wants to be librarians. I don't think that bodes well for the amount of jobs out there. We'll see.

In other news back to see my dietitian and have joined a gym. I am at a dangerous weight, the one where I hate, even more so, how I look because I have put on a bit of weight. I don't like it and I need to do something about it now. The danger is that switch that goes off and then I drop it all. I feel it almost take hold a few times but I am at a normalish weight but not used to that. I'm worried I will just have that 'snap' moment and it all comes tumbling down. I'll keep you posted.

Take care and be kind to yourselves. I am trying to do the same.

Sarah xx

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Uni and the drama

Hi Guys

So this week has been dramatic. I've yelled, I've cried, I've laughed (thankfully) and had many more emotions. So... uni started back and I did my intro on the discussion board (I study online) and the unit coordinator emailed me to tell me I was in the wrong course. Of course I freaked out, who wouldn't. I had signed up for undergrad because I hadn't studied in years and I mentioned in my intro post that I had done undergrad and postgrad before, so she said I should be doing the Grad Dip in Information and Library Studies, not the undergrad Library and Corporate Information Management course.

So... then went back and forth for two days between the departments because I had been given bad advice to start with, even when they checked my credit application for recognition for prior learning, they still didn't pick it up that I should be in postgrad. In the end I couldn't do the full course because enrollments have closed for study period one. I am happy that I am in the same unit but the postgrad version of it and I will apply for the full course for the July intake. The only annoying this is that I only have access to the undergrad site right now and that will change tonight where I will lose complete access and then should have it back again Monday once everything has gone through.

All in all it turned out well considering that they didn't have to help me. It was because my tutor is also the coordinator of the course, as well as the unit, so they listened to her. Thankfully. She called me yesterday afternoon because I emailed her asking if I all else fails, should I completely withdraw and she was ringing to say yes and she was happy to hear the result. Oh well, all's well, that ends well, as they say ;)

Sarah xx

P.S. Please ignore any errors, I wrote this several times and it still sounded weird :-P